Building your Wedding Party
Today’s question: “Why do you need a Maid of Honor or a Best Man anyway??”
You heard that right!
We’ve noticed in recent years that no one wants to appoint a leader for their wedding party. We get it. You don’t want to hurt people’s feelings. So instead of picking a leader, you don’t pick anyone at all.
While well intentioned, this can actually do more harm than good.
Weddings are fast paced events and you need someone who people can go to with questions and who can make decisions when newlyweds are preoccupied. And trust me, the month leading up to your wedding can be stressful and these team leads will be ready to stand by your side when dealing with family drama and interpersonal issues. Then of course on when you final get to wedding day you’ll be so exhausted on your wedding day you’ll barely have time to think.
Hopefully at this point, we’ve convinced you that having a Maid of Honor or Best Man has some definite advantage. Now you’re ready to bring someone on board! Here’s what to look for.
Maid of Honor / Best Man Job description
The maid of honor has several important responsibilities before, during, and after the wedding. Here are some of the key duties:
Before the Wedding:
Planning the Bachelorette Party: Organizes and plans the bachelorette party, coordinating with the bride and other bridesmaids.
Assisting with Wedding Planning: Helps the bride or groom with various aspects of wedding planning, such as selecting the wedding dress, addressing invitations, and organizing pre-wedding events.
Coordinating the Bridesmaids: Acts as the point of contact for the bridesmaids or groomsmen, ensuring everyone is informed about schedules, dress fittings, and responsibilities.
Hosting a Bridal Shower: Often helps to plan and host the bridal shower, including sending invitations, organizing activities, and managing gifts.
Emotional Support: Provides emotional support to the bride, offering reassurance, advice, and a listening ear during the stressful planning process.
During the Wedding:
Attending the Rehearsal and Dinner: Participates in the wedding rehearsal and attends the rehearsal dinner.
Getting Ready: Maid of Honor helps the bride get ready on the wedding day, including getting dressed, doing hair and makeup, and keeping her calm and relaxed.
Setting Up: Best Man will make themselves available to help with any last minute event space set up so the Groom has plenty of time to get ready.
Holding the Bouquet: During the ceremony, holds the bride’s bouquet while she exchanges vows and rings.
Holding the Rings: Traditionally a Best man will be guardian of the rings until it’s time to hand them off to a ring barer or the officiant.
Arranging the Fit: Ensures the bride’s dress and train are properly arranged throughout the ceremony and during photos. Keeping the groom looking sharp throughout the night.
Signing the Marriage License: Acts as a witness by signing the marriage license after the ceremony.
Delivering a Toast: Typically gives a speech or toast at the reception, sharing heartfelt words and well-wishes for the couple.
After the Wedding:
Collecting Gifts: Helps gather and transport wedding gifts and cards to a secure location.
Supporting the Newlywed: Continues to offer support and assistance to the couple, helping them transition into newlywed life.
The maid of honor plays a crucial role in ensuring the wedding day runs smoothly and that the bride feels supported and celebrated throughout the entire process.
How do I appoint a Maid of Honor?
Amongst your closest friends, appoint someone who’ll clearly act as your second in command. Look for the person with the strongest project management skills. Someone who has experience managing a team (your bridesmaids are your team now) Someone with that experience is also likely well prepared to give a speech on wedding day.
What if my best friend isn’t very organized?
Wedding day responsibilities can be pretty stressful. You don’t want to put high pressure on someone who isn’t used to getting questions from lots of people at the same time. It could blow up into major delays and tears on the wedding day. I’ve seen it happen.
What we recommend doing instead
Appoint two leaders.
1 for wedding day.
and 1 for the bachelor / bachelorette bash! (or bridal shower)
These parties are usually fun and free flowing events that could last 1 day, a weekend, or a full week! It’s actually a sizable job and your crew will benefit from this kind of task separation. Bach parties are great for the close friend who is really fun and creative.
